20: Coach Jessica Hanna - Oola Blocker Anger

Episode 20

Date Recorded:  

Title:  Coach Jessica Hanna- Oola Blocker Anger

Description:  

Jessica Hanna was born and raised in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and is a United States Marine Corps Veteran and Spouse.  She is also starting her first year as Orchestra Director for Southwest Middle and High School.  She has lived and traveled all over the country, even overseas!  She loves to create, paint and make jewelry.

 She has been using the Oola Framework in her own life for many years now, and it has elevated her life in ways that she could never have imagined.  Her favorite area of using the framework has been growth in the area of friends.  

 She has been an Oola Life Coach since 2019, and specializes in Christian and Faith Coaching.  She believes that it is possible to throw away negative voices from the past and step into your God given purpose.  She also believes that in your pain is purpose, and preparation for your future.  She loves helping others bring their vision to life.

 Her favorite time is with her family, she has five beautiful children, an awesome husband, a St. Bernard, two cats, and five chickens!

 To reach coach Jessica, go to jessica@vidacoachingco.com  and you can follow her on Social Media.

 New episodes of Life Coaches in Cahoots drop every other Wednesday.

Listen and subscribe today.

https://lifecoachesincahoots.buzzsprout.com/share

Transcript

Melinda: 1:13

Welcome everyone. I can hardly believe we are more than three quarters of the way through the year with Life Coaches in Cahoots podcast. It has been such an honor to grow, learn, and create a community of like-minded coaches and share it all with our audience today. We welcome coach Jessica Hanna. We are sharing about her and talking about ULAs blocker anger. Jessica is a United States Marine Corps veteran and spouse. She was born and raised in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. She has lived and traveled the country as well as overseas. Jessica is a mother of five wife,

Jessica: 1:49

a life coach, and her latest adventure

Melinda: 1:51

is about to take her down a path where she will be a middle senior high school orchestra director. That is more than a full plate. Let's find out how Jessica juggles it all. We are grateful to have Jessica with us today. I am Coach Melinda and we are here with co-host Stephanie and a coach who loves to help others bring their visions to life.

Stephanie: 2:15

Hi, I'm coach Stephanie. Melinda and I are on a mission to showcase some of our fabulous Oola life coaches and share their stories, and we are very excited to introduce Jessica Hanna to our listeners today. Welcome Jessica,

Melinda: 2:27

and thanks

Jessica: 2:27

for joining us. Thank you for

Melinda: 2:29

having me. Welcome to the Life Coaches in Cahoots podcast. We are so grateful to have you on today. I just wanna say thank you to you and your family for the service you have given. I know it can't be easy being a Marine Corps family raising five kiddos. Would you like to tell us a little bit about your background and what brought you to life coaching with Oola? Sure.

Jessica: 2:56

So actually a memory popped up on my Facebook yesterday or the day before, and it has been officially seven years since I met the Oola guys. it's been about eight years since I read the Oola book that. I laid a foundation in my life that I really needed at the time. my background is like, I grew up in a broken home and most of the time, I was just left to my own devices. I didn't have the guidance that a lot of people have growing up. my siblings were out of the house, my parents were out of the house switching roles, you know, so, Oola really taught me a lot about life that I needed. And when I met the guys a year later, I, I like to say that's when I was hooked because they were the same in person as they were in the book, and I was just really thrilled about that. I'm pretty sure that, you know, Dave complained that he was hungry when I met him, so I offered him like my half eaten chicken sandwich. I mean, that's how awkward I was at the time, Whenever I would meet. People that also maybe needed some help in some different areas, especially some other military spouses. At the time, I'd be like, here, read this book. This really helps me. when they came out with the coaching program and announced that, I was like, I'm doing this. I love this program. I love. The guys. So that's my background and story about how I got into coaching. Is there

Melinda: 4:38

an aha moment, something that you heard from the guys that resonated with you, made you start thinking, I gotta follow this lifestyle.

Jessica: 4:48

I think everything that really had to do with relationships, whether it was with family or with friends, at that point, I didn't know about the word toxic yet I am a people pleaser and because I was kind of just left alone for so long, I wanted to be friends with anybody and everybody, and. If someone would accept me or take me under their shoulder, you know, I really. I really loved that even, but even if they were bad and I knew that they were bad in some way, I didn't trust my gut enough to say like, you don't have to be friends with this person. And I say that like in quotes because you know, there's a difference between a real friend and a fake friend, you know? Um, so that. Aha moment that kind of spanned over a few years because you know, something like that doesn't really happen overnight. And really it just kind of kept guiding me to. Recognizing it more quickly over the years. So I would start to see red flags in people in my relationships for what they were red flags, and be able to call it out quicker and you know, kind of save some heartache, or at least I could see the heartache coming.

Melinda: 6:19

I think the toxic part of the book wakes everybody up'cause you know, they do ask you to step back and look at your five closest friends and, you know, I definitely had a toxic one on my list. I know. Not not just a friend though. You're right about the family, the whole thing. Mm-hmm.

Jessica: 6:37

It took me a long time to realize how even my family made me feel, and to be honest with myself about. How certain members of my family made me feel.'cause it's a lot to even just admit how you feel about somebody sometimes.

Stephanie: 6:54

So do you have any goals in that area what do you got going on right now

Melinda: 6:58

with that area?

Jessica: 7:01

For any

Melinda: 7:01

area?

Jessica: 7:03

Oh boy. Um, right now my Oola one, if you will, is to clear out all of our credit card debt. And I know that's a pretty common one, but I think you know it, that's gonna have a trickle down effect on our family. Everything from my marriage to, you know, quality of life. Everything. So, um, that's what I'm working towards right now and we have a good plan in place for that. So hopefully that'll be good in about a year. Well, and tell us about

Melinda: 7:41

this

Stephanie: 7:41

new job. I just saw you, you posted about it, but tell us a little bit about that.

Jessica: 7:46

Sure. So all of my kids are going back into school about a week or two, and my youngest is four and has a birthday. So he's going to be five in November, but he can't start school until next year. So he's at this awkward stage of, well, he's not exactly a baby yet or anymore, and he's not ready for kindergarten per se. So we thought we need to get him in preschool'cause he's a little social butterfly and just bundle of joy to have. But I felt bad keeping him at home again for another year. I just kind of felt like doing him a disservice right now. Um, So we're getting that locked in. And so with that being said, I'm like, well, what do I do? Um, I, my husband is retiring in less than two years from the Marine Corps. So we're gonna take a cut in income. I know that he really wanted to make sure that we were gonna be okay when he does retire and no matter what, we're gonna be okay. But I wanted to put in that kind help for him because he's been supporting us for so long, letting me stay home with the kids. So I have a degree in early childhood education, but I've also professionally done music for most of my life. And I started out in college as a music education major, but back then I had a lot of self doubt that took that away from me. so I applied for preschool positions in the county system and I got a call a couple LA hours later after my application was submitted and it was a call from, The principal of the middle school and she said, Hey, I saw your application come through. I know you're looking for a preschool job, but what do you think about orchestra? And I was like, wait, what? And I said, I look. I mean, that sounds amazing, but I gotta be honest with you. I do have musical experience. Yes, but I haven't touched a violin since I was in fourth grade. And I mean that, that's not a lie. That's true. Um, I played in orchestras, so she said, you know, Why don't you go ahead and come in for an interview anyway. I was Okay. We did the interview and I also had gotten, I had did done an interview for an art teaching at the high school. so do love art and the high school was where my sons go to. But after I left that interview, I really felt just, I couldn't stop thinking about that job. I think the teacher had left abruptly at the beginning of the year, and the high school principal was there too, and he was like, I need somebody with passion. I need somebody that's gonna love on these children, you know? And if basically we can't give you the job. But if you want that job, go ahead and let us know because we'd love to have you. I am passionate about music and I love teaching kids and I love to, would definitely love to reach kids that were like me, that maybe did not have the best home life. And music is their escape. I say to this day that, you know, The, in high school is what kind of saved my life and kept me out of total, complete, chaotic trouble. So if I can be that kind of positive guide in a a child's life, um, I'm all, I'm all for it. Yeah, that sounds exciting. Thank you. I'm really excited. You just kind of breathed over. We're paying down our credit card debt. I know

Melinda: 11:45

that's just a common thing, but you know, in our

Jessica: 11:48

world it's just

Melinda: 11:49

sad that it's a common thing because you know everybody. Normalize

Jessica: 11:53

that credit card debt so much.

11:55

So

Melinda: 11:55

I think a big part of Oola is exactly what you're telling us, that you look at the overall picture and you see your husband's gonna retire and we're gonna get this debt under control. We're gonna get an extra income stream going,

Jessica: 12:07

make sure the family's situated. I think

Melinda: 12:10

that's amazing. That's very admirable. today's questions, we're gonna unpack how anger can affect us all. So could you share more about Oola, the blocker anger from your perspective for us?

Jessica: 12:23

Yeah. Anger really. I think it's scary blocker. Very scary blocker. And I think what. Society as a whole. Obviously we're seeing stories every day come out of the news about angry people and what it does to, you know, others, unsuspecting, innocent people. I know the stories in the books Oola were very powerful. So, you know, those haven't been read by the audience. I suggest you do that. Definitely. Those are powerful. But I think also like it comes from a lack of awareness within our, own body. So for me, like what I've learned, through Oola and thinking about that blocker is really recognizing what starts happening to your body as you start to get angry. and then thinking through it and knowing what to do when you start to feel that frustration. And it's something I'm working on with my younger children too. you know, whether it's walk away, take a break, Go do something that will take your mind off of whatever's upsetting you right now, and also understanding what to do when you do get angry. I have to get pushed pretty far myself to get like actually angry. there's some, and I recognize that, you know, I have some values that if they're crossed, then that's when I will get angry. So I know that like if I get angry, I need to go take a nap. That's like my way of resetting my body. You know, just, it's just kind of scary what happens when you're angry and it goes unchecked if you don't realize it and you just fly off the handle. it can destroy friendships, relationships, families, meetings, and it, and it takes a while to recover from that, you know, depending on how deep the cut goes.

Melinda: 14:28

anger takes many forms and degrees. So you mentioned frustration and that's, you know, that's when we let the small things get to us, which is. Then exasperated when our reactions are stronger than they need to be. So what do you say? Do you have any tips for people that have a lot of kids? I mean, you mentioned a couple of things that you have the kids walk away or take a time out.

Jessica: 14:50

You go to sleep.

Melinda: 14:51

I, for whatever reason, go to sleep. I can't wake up angry. So yeah, maybe I should try your little trick

Jessica: 14:56

there. I just

Melinda: 14:57

need to take.

Jessica: 14:59

And you know, just from a broad perspective, not knowing any kind of situations, I always find it helpful to understand with children, with kids, teenagers, to understand the. Phases of development that they are in. Um, especially with teenagers. I know that we are preparing them to go out into the world, but they are not yet adults and their brains are not fully developed. I mean, technically, and I think the age might have even gone up. Since I last checked, but when I last checked, our brains aren't fully developed till age 25. So there's a lot of growth that still needs to happen. And so we need to give grace for the emotions that come out because not only do we not understand what they're going through, even though we've been teenagers, they don't understand what they're going through. I heard something a few weeks ago that really stuck with me when it came to working through, um, discipline issues with your kids, because I'm not gonna lie, I mean, yeah, I've had moments where I've raised my voice and it hasn't been pretty and you don't feel good about it after, if. Because there's an, I think there's a difference between intentionally raising your voice and losing it, and that's the latter. Doesn't feel good. So I've heard a trick of approach it like you're a police officer and you know, all politics aside, um, you know, like when you, when you see and watch a police officer, they try. For the most part to be very calm. They don't, they ask you questions like a coach in their voice. Stay steady. And so I've tried to use that with my kids, like as if I'm approaching a situation like a police officer, like, what are you doing? Do you think that was a good choice? Why are you feeling angry about that? What about that made you angry and. Like really helped'cause you kind of put in a little bit of a separation in that space. I hope that makes sense.

Melinda: 17:36

It does, that's great. So when anger arrives in full force and doesn't let up, That's our best advice for our listeners. You just answered my second question. Oh, cool. Yeah, so I mean, I do believe in the power

Jessica: 17:51

of the pause

Melinda: 17:52

too, so I'll take a, a break and I'll do some deep breathing. I might do a couple of mantras and do the om, you know, so you don't snap out on your kids.

Jessica: 18:03

Look, I've hid in the bathroom and locked that door more than I care to admit to. I always

Melinda: 18:10

laugh when you see the commercial where the mom's hiding in the bathroom. She's eating cookies. I'm thinking to myself, the moms are not eating cookies. We're in there

Jessica: 18:18

crying and trying to get it together.

Stephanie: 18:21

So Dr. Dave and Dr. Troy teach in their book Finding Balance in an Unbalanced World that sometimes you just have to say Hakuna matata, which means no worries, whatever happened to make you angry in the past? Is in the past and there's nothing you can do about it now. So what are your

Melinda: 18:38

thoughts on that?

Jessica: 18:41

I think that it's true. I think that's a skill to be learned to do that. I mean, I think that's something that I, I'll be honest, I'm currently working through, I think time might have a lot to do with that. the fresher it is, well, that was like three months ago, so I'm, I, would expect feelings to keep coming up if I think about it. so that could be a daily thing for sure. I hope I'm making sense right now, or I'm answering the question.

Stephanie: 19:22

Yeah, just letting it, you know, it's a skill to learn to let it go because we can just, you know, bog ourselves down in anger and resentment and, you know, you can't change it. So, yeah, it's definitely something to help people and it's a big thing when you're coaching somebody who has that, you know, something in the past that they have every right to be angry about. But yeah, teaching them and helping them see that. You gotta let it go. It's not gonna help you, right? It's a skill. So we have got to intentionally take time to listen to what the world is telling us. We can ask ourselves, how has this wrongdoing shifted us in another direction? For instance, if you're running late, did it possibly save you from an accident down the road? Or did a tough childhood make you more independent? So do you have any personal experiences that made you angry or frustrated, but now you look back and realize it was sending you a message you were. Making a shift and can you share that? That's a

Jessica: 20:17

loaded question.

Stephanie: 20:18

I know you, you mentioned a little bit already,

Jessica: 20:21

so Yeah, I, I believe in both. I believe I do try to take that mindset, especially if I'm running late, you know, that could have saved me. I had actually, that happened to me last year. I was out in a different town and I was gonna get ready to come home and I felt this overwhelming and, okay, y'all can laugh at me for this one, but it's just a true story. I felt an overwhelming urge to go to Target. I didn't need anything. I needed to go there and it was like probably the worst target I've ever seen. It was messy. It was nothing like a, my, your typical target. So I spent some time in there, a few minutes, probably about 10, 15 minutes, and then I left. And on that drive home, A few minutes later, there were fire trucks, ambulances, and all kinds of things that there was a bad accident. And I think it took me an extra like two and a half hours to get home from that. But when I drove past, there was a small car like flipped over and it was like a turn and I thought, okay. that was why I wanted to go to Target right there. That could have been my car because I'm driving a Volkswagen Bug, right? So whatever happened, I'm pretty sure that was like the Holy Spirit just protecting me. So I do believe in those kinds of things, um, absolutely. Now, and as far as like things happening from the past that made you angry, can it grow you into a better person? 100%. It is how you get to that point that matters. Um, you can either be a victim your whole life, you can be a victim part of your life, and that's okay. Um, but you gotta keep growing. You gotta want to grow past that. So, and how you handle that growth or seek out that growth, that's what's gonna make a difference. That's a good

Melinda: 22:37

answer. I do think that Oola, in particular, the personal growth that comes along with it, once you really invest the time and change in your life, those things do come to light and, and we have a much easier, almost a blueprint to handle some of those things better.

Jessica: 22:54

So, um, oh, absolutely. I use Oola and its principles. I like to say that Oola is evergreen because, I mean, it's been eight years and I'm still picking up the book and flipping to a chapter when I need an answer on something or what did they say about this? You know? So it it's pretty tattered. Yeah.

Melinda: 23:21

And I would bet every one of us repeat things to ourselves in our heads every day that came from Oola. I know. I do. And then, and then we all hear ourselves telling it to the kids. They're like me,

Jessica: 23:35

right? Oh yeah. I had that happen at my son's last track meet. Bless his heart. He, he was in eighth grade. He's going into ninth grade this year, and he finished his last mile race and. He, he is not like the first place runner by any means, and he knows that, but he's okay with it because, you know, he is, he's always running against his own best time. So he sat down next to me and I was like, how do you feel? He's like, good. And I said, cool. Are you doing this? Next year is what you wanna do? And he is like, yep, I'm gonna do it again. I was like, cool, let's set a goal. And he's like, what? I. In a year, what, you know, how do you wanna be running this? What's the time you wanna do? And he's like, oh mom, is this what you do to other people too for your job And Oola? And I was like, yeah, sure is a little dude. Okay fine. But he did, he, he wanted to take a minute off his mile for next year. So I had them date it and sign it and so yeah. Very cool. Definitely get.

Melinda: 24:44

We are asking all of the coaches on our show some questions similar to the PRUs questionnaire. question number one is, please tell us something in your life that has grown out of a personal disaster or just a challenge.

Jessica: 24:59

Yeah, that's another loaded question. D. Challenges or disasters. Um, and it's kind of hard to pick one. I, I would say, and my biggest one was when I hit a rock bottom in my. Last year of the Marine Corps, and I don't, I don't talk about it a lot. Um, you know, it, sort of had to do with drinking and, you know, the after effects of that. Um, and I got in trouble, big trouble, which was deserved. and that is when, soon after. I started looking at my faith journey and what am I doing with my life right now because I am screwing up, you know, massively, massively screwing up. And, and my husband got pregnant with our first son, Ethan, who's. 16 now, and I thought I need to be a better person for this baby. so had to hit rock bottom for that. And that grew out of, what am I doing?'cause I was 25, I think. So at that point my brain is fully developed scientifically, and you know, now I'm about to be a mom or I am a mom and. This kid deserves better than what I'm doing with my life. So I started seeking out faith and churches and kind of, seeking God at that moment, and I haven't stopped since. And I know that I am a much better person for having hit rock bottom. I don't wish that on anybody, but. Sometimes, I guess some people like me need to be hit with a two by four and other people learn from other people's mistakes. So I mean, now, 16 years later, I have a son. Who is a believer and, he's playing saxophone in the band and he's a really, really, really good kid and sweet and honest, and I trust him and I couldn't ask for anything more. We have five beautiful children now, and I don't talk about what I did. that, that's between me and God. But, I'm proud of how far we've come since that moment. And it's taken years of hard work and dirty work and just boots to the ground, like being real and saying, you know what? I was this way and it's okay. That's who I was, that's who I'm not Now. what. School says, you know, where you are is not who you are. And that, that's, that's huge. And it's true. And I, want, I need that for everybody who's been there going through that now and are going through that because we're human and we make mistakes. And those mistakes do not define us. They don't.

Melinda: 28:38

Yeah, I think that's a great message. Thank you for sharing that I thought was very raw and real, and obviously 25 was not your happiest time. So why don't you tell us where and where you were the happiest you've

Jessica: 28:51

ever been? I mean, I think I'm that now. I really am. I said, got the children. I got my, I, I have a house over my roof, over my head. Food on the table. Water. the kids are fed and dressed. My in-laws are living down here with, not in our house, but you know, they moved down from New York to North Carolina. I got my St. Bernard, Betsy, she's amazing. We got five chickens and I have a little garden raised beds and, you know, we're both now employed, so I mean, it, it not gonna say it's been an easy few years, it hasn't, but, I kind of seeing God's hand in everything that we have gone through in the past few years too, whether, because, I mean, I've had a few health scares too. I'm really just grateful for every day, and that's something I was thinking about this morning is that's actually something that I have a, a bigger problem with than I realized. I don't. I have enough gratitude and I kind of woke up funky today thinking I gotta do this, I gotta do that. And I was like, no, you're awake. And so, and there was a couple months ago that was like, I don't know how much longer, how many more days that I have to be awake. You know, didn't, it was an uncertain future. And of course nobody knows. When they're going to pass. But I thought, you know, straighten up, girl, you are here. Everything is fine. You, your children are here, they are fine. Like life is good. If I had five

Melinda: 30:39

kids, I'd be waking up thinking, oh thank God. Summer vacation's almost over. They're gonna.

Stephanie: 30:44

Oh my gosh,

Jessica: 30:45

that's so funny. Oh yeah. Oh no. I'm excited for that.

Melinda: 30:51

Okay, so

Stephanie: 30:51

let's shift a little bit. The next question is, what relationship defines love for you?

Jessica: 30:59

I mean, I have to say, for me, that was a twofold. I had a hard time thinking through that question. Definitely. first, and for, and I hope it's okay that I'm talking about my faith so much, but. It is, it is God and Jesus that define the Holy Trinity. That defines love for me, because I know as a mom how much I love my children That. It's, it has to be so much more imperfect love because I know our love isn't perfect. So that, that, that defines love for me. That's the relationship right there.

Stephanie: 31:41

Yeah. It's definitely more than Okay. That you talk about your faith. Uh, what person, place, or experience has shaped you the

Jessica: 31:47

most person, place, or experience? I would say, kind of my husband actually, he has loved me at my lowest. And he is definitely a yang to my yin, whereas I am like not a planner. He is like, what? What's for dinner in two months? so he has been very patient with me as we grow together and, It, it's cool because I've been able to teach him things and he is definitely taught me a lot. I like to call him the male Martha Stewart. he knows more about like home things than I'll ever know, so I, would really just have to say that, and it, and it hasn't been easy, but for sure he has been like probably one of the most influential people in my life.

Melinda: 32:55

That's beautiful. What advice would you give your younger self?

Jessica: 33:02

So as, a younger person, I had a lot of, ease. It was always very easy for me to say, forgive my language, screw you to people who told me that I couldn't do something, especially adults. I had a few run-ins with teachers that said, you'll never be able to do this. Are you sure you wanna do that? not cool with me. and I was just said, okay, well you don't know my life, so I'm gonna do it anyways. definitely a lot of that had to do with going into drumming. I had a band teacher ask me if, are you sure you wanna be a music education major? Are you like really sure. And I'm, I just remember that day and my, my buddy who's like so talented at drumming, he was like, what was that? And I was like, I don't know, but she can go take it somewhere else. And the, I've had a few comments like that, if you will, throughout my life. So, I was able to persevere through those voices, but what I found looking back was I wasn't able to persevere through my own voices. So I did get accepted into the music program at my first college, and it was by someone that's relatively famous in the music world, but I did not allow myself to give. Credit about that. when I saw the other players and how much more education that they had received, and how good they were, and they were skills that I just didn't even know existed. I was embarrassed and I did not like to play in front of anybody or practice in fear that somebody would hear me. So it was easier to go to a party than show up and do the work. So the advice that I would give my younger self was go ahead and say, screw you to the thoughts in your head about your worth and your place in this position in life because you deserve to try. And get that too. This isn't, I mean, that was purely a circumstantial situation. Looking back, you know, maybe if I had gone to where the other players had gone to school or had, you know, an upbringing like that, they did, I would've been just as you know, quote unquote good as they were. That was out of my control. So I would tell my younger self, keep going anyways. Do it. Put in the work, the alcohol and the parties, they are not gonna get you what you want in life. That is not your future. That is not the future. There's a lot. Sorry.

Melinda: 36:09

Well, that's a good message though. How about, do you have a quote or a motto that you value that you would like to share with us? Quote or ama?

Jessica: 36:18

there's so many good ones out there. Just do it. Just do it. I, because, well, what I think when I think about, just do it. Okay. Let, let's take that one for a minute. It's a good one. You know why I always tell my kids and stuff like, yes, people care about what you're doing, but they don't care. So at the end of the day, like the band directors that said like, eh, you know, because it was just like not a female thing back then when I was growing up. Um, guess what? Me playing my music or with other people in their music doesn't affect it. What they're doing in their lives right now, they don't even know. They probably don't even remember you exist. So

Melinda: 37:05

just do it.

Stephanie: 37:08

We're also asking all the coaches on our show if they have taken an Enneagram tests and for anyone out there unfamiliar, the Enneagram is a system of personality typing that describes patterns and how people interpret the world and manage their emotions. And Jessica, I know you've taken the Enneagram test. What was your number?

Melinda: 37:27

It was two. Was this the first time you took

Jessica: 37:30

it? Um, this is from a couple of years ago. Okay. Yes. So I haven't retaken it per se. Okay. Because you

Stephanie: 37:39

knew right away when I asked you. Um, so well the Enneagram two is the helper and we've now actually had several twos on our show. Do you have any information about it or do you want me to share a little That I have, I

Jessica: 37:50

would love for you to share. That sounds great. I wanna hear about it. So twos are

Stephanie: 37:54

kind and generous, warmhearted and loving at their best. Enneagram two careers are those job opportunities that allow them to use their qualities of care and compassion. They do well in teaching nursing and counseling. I thought this was interesting since we were talking about frustration. I read that too, is our most annoyed or angered by selfish behavior or rudeness. So that's just a little different spin on it. So what are your thoughts about your

Jessica: 38:20

results? I think it's pretty spot on. It is super spot on. I would say when I, it's funny actually because we'll say a defining and close relative of me, I always viewed as very selfish and that had always bugged me my entire life, um, like really bad. And when I see other selfish things happen, I get pretty aggravated and my biggest fear was being a selfish person as an adult, especially when it came to my children. So, and I, I definitely think I'm a helper and generous. And, and, and I'm not humble bragging here, I promise like just. I mean, I just, I agree with that assessment and sometimes it's to a fault, so I have to all the boundaries that Oola talks about. Again, just be very, very aware of what you are. I think of that story with Dr. Troy and he wanted to help the guy with the elephant legs, you know, and, oh, take him back and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and help him out. And they're like, no. He uses that for his advantage. Like, you're not helping him, you're enabling him. So definitely a fine line with, uh, helping and enabling for sure, Well,

Melinda: 39:49

this has been great getting to know you a little bit better. That's, yeah, you did a great job. Is there anything else you wanna tell our listeners today that we didn't talk

Jessica: 39:58

about? No. I kind of feel like I really told my life story a little bit, feeling kind of vulnerable right now. I do feel like I know you

Melinda: 40:08

better, which is the whole goal, so, yeah. This is gonna conclude our episode on anger, and I would like to remind our listeners there are Oola accelerators we can lean into and use to help overcome blockers. The accelerators can help propel us forward in our daily lives. Be sure to check out some of our past episodes where we

Jessica: 40:29

discuss the

Melinda: 40:29

accelerators too. Before we part ways. We would like to let our listeners know that our next episode will showcase coach. Robbie

Microphone Array (Intelr Smart Sound Technology for Digital Microphones): 40:38

Critchley,

Jessica: 40:39

She's a sweetheart. I like her blocker self.

Melinda: 40:46

Stay tuned. We have more blockers to chat about and I'd like to remind you we are all designed by God for greatness and with purpose. And we want to sincerely thank Jessica for taking time out to share with us. Enjoy the rest of your summer with your family, and we look forward to catching up with you in the fall. Until next time, stress

Jessica: 41:06

less,

Melinda: 41:06

feel better, and enjoy life a little more. Bye now.