18: Coach Dar Pendergrass - Oola Blocker Fear

Episode 18

Date Recorded:  August 4, 2023

Title:  Coach Dar Pendergrass- Oola Blocker: Fear

For almost 30 years Dar Pendergrass has worked with individuals and teams in public, private and not-for-profit environments; as well as one-on-one to achieve business and personal goals. Her career background in human resources regularly connects her with people seeking guidance during difficult life events, better “life balance”, or how to build, shift, or retire from their careers. As a full-time HR leader at a world renowned hospital her days are busy but it left a desire to also work more closely with individuals’ personal goals, so Dar began life-coaching.  Having worked for Marilu Henner as an online lifestyle coach in early 2000’s; today Dar works with many as they support their overall wellness with essential oils and quality nutrition products; and as a certified Life Coach & Founding Global Ambassador for Oola: The Mind & Body Company. In 2019 launching Grace Filled Lives; Life & Wellness Coaching; she is excited to incorporate all of her current and past experience to help her clients towards whole life wellness and balance using all of the gifts we have been given in nature and in our talents & skills. Dar has a special focus for the “Mid-Life and ready to truly live” group who find themselves age 40-65 and wanting to get everything out of this life, find their purpose, prepare financially, physically, and emotionally for life’s ‘second half”. She also provides team-building and stand-up training on various topics as well as creating an engaged, positive mindset. There is still time for each of us; we are designed for greatness and a purpose!
Doris (DAR) Pendergrass

Grace Filled Lives

Baltimore, Maryland  USA   (Serving clients nationally & locally – Baltimore Co/City & Harford County)

FB:                        Grace Filled Lives – Dar Pendergrass/Life Coach – Oola Certified

                              Free Group:  Now What? Mid-Life and Ready to Truly Live

IG:                         Oola_dar.lifecoach

LinkedIn:             D Pendergrass (linkedin.com/in/d-p-14637a6)

Contact:              Gracefilledlives.coachdar@gmail.com  

https://lifecoachesincahoots.buzzsprout.com/share

Transcript

Melinda: 1:09

Welcome to the show. I just love this topic. For most people, fear is the greatest obstacle in their pursuit of Oola. Finding balance in an unbalanced world takes action. You might be wondering why I would love this topic. It is the number one Oola blocker, and just hearing that might make some of us nervous, but really watching yourself, your child, a friend, or a client, conquer their fear and excel is astounding. We are excited to welcome our friend and certified Oola life coach Dara Pendergrass to today's show. Dara has worked with individuals and teams in public, private, and not-for-profit environments for almost 30 years. Her background in human resources regularly connects her with people seeking guidance during difficult life events, better life balance, or how to build, shift, or retire from their careers. Working as a full-time HR leader at a world renowned hospital definitely fills her days. However, it leaves DAR with a strong desire to work closer with individuals personal goals. So she has started coaching today. Dar runs Grace-Filled Lives,

Dar: 2:19

life and Wellness Coaching

Melinda: 2:21

in Oola. We need to acknowledge the blockers the same as we do the accelerators. The blockers are seven traits that can block your dreams. However you'll see the longer you work on your action steps and the harder you work, you can use some of the accelerators to help you conquer the blockers. Yes, even fear. I am Coach Melinda and we are here today with Coach Stephanie. My co-host and I coach has a special focus for the midlife and ready to truly live

Dar: 2:50

group who find

Melinda: 2:51

themselves wanting to get everything out of this life in life. Second half. Stephanie and I are excited to have Dar Pendergrass here with us to share about herself and ULAs blocker fear. So have no fear. Dar is here. Let's get started.

Dar: 3:09

That was perfect.

Stephanie: 3:10

Hi, I am coach Stephanie. Melinda and I are on a mission to showcase some of our fabulous Oola life coaches and share their stories, and we are very excited to introduce Dar Pendergrass to our listeners today. Welcome D and thanks for joining

Melinda: 3:24

us. Thank you both. Hi, Dar. I could easily ask you about your work with others, but honestly my burning question for you is about your work with the actress. You wanna share a little bit about that life coaching experience with us? Sure,

Dar: 3:41

sure. So, you know, as you mentioned, I, I've been in HR pretty much my whole career, but around 2000, my husband had a new health diagnosis and I was reading, looking for information to help him, anything I could do to support him, in that. And I came across a book at the time by Mary Lou Henner. And, um, she, uh, many, you know, her as the redhead from taxi, or many other, uh, movies shows. You know, activities she's done out there. But during that time period, she was also sharing her own, journey towards health and wellness and, and balanced living. And so, that was my first foray into coaching. I actually ended up connecting with Mary Lou and at the time she launched an online coaching. This is pre-day of Facebook and all the other things. We had a chat bot kind of thing that we, Communicated with people, but we did online, uh, workshops and, I had that wonderful opportunity to really get to become great friends with her. And she's just super down to earth. And, it kind of sparked my, my love for the coaching because we did various coaching. you know, we got creative and tried different ideas, different programs, different things people told us they needed at the time. And even then for aid into some, you know, group sessions and round table things that we had to like fly to each other. And back in those days it was like, you're gonna go meet. People off the internet, you know, and so, so today, you know, uh, fast forward, many of those things I still get to connect with Mary Lou, but, uh, it, it did launch and spark my, coaching. That sounds

Melinda: 5:06

like an awesome experience. I'm very much into the entertainment world as in following it, but I never get to meet anybody, so I'm always like, one day it's even on my bucket list to go to like a red carpet event. I don't even have to be like part of it. I have to just be there in the background.

Dar: 5:22

I admit there was one fun moment, so I've gotten to travel with her as well, and I was in New York City and I came down the elevator and these two ladies were all giddy with excitement. Mary Lou, he's in the lobby and I said, I know she's waiting for me. My little brush with my little brush with celebrity. That's

Melinda: 5:38

cool. Can you share with us how you came to know Oola and if there was an aha moment when you knew the Oola lifestyle was for

Dar: 5:46

you? So I think I, you know, as, as I'm building and doing all these things and being an HR professional, you know, like many people, it was easy to take care of everybody else and not myself. And so I had a moment of great stress, around 2018 and my job and my cousin at the time said, Hey, you're coming to visit me. I ended up on a plane flying to Idaho, met some people on that plane that happened to be involved with the organization that. Were really doing things with the Oola guys at the time, and so I had the opportunity to hear from them to, to get involved in some things that connected me there, and as they started to really launch their next books and, um, launch their coaching program in 2019, building off of what I was already doing. I was like, this. Is for me, you know, they, they had a, a framework and a just down to earth, you know, it kind of felt similar to my experience from, you know, 19 years prior where, you know, we could just really connect with people where they were at. And it wasn't, I. Overinflated, there wasn't gonna be a way that made it unreachable and unattainable for people based on their budgets or where they were in their life. And so that really clicked for me. I didn't hesitate. I'm pretty sure I was one of the first 10, that said, Hey, I'm in. And, um, you know, got the opportunity to talk with Dave, Braun, one of the founders. And, you know, I was all in, did work and was one of the first certified coaches that October. And are you a mentor coach too? I am not a mentor coach. So there are some fabulous mentor coaches in Oola. Um, but because of my day job, anytime that I have to focus, I definitely want to be available for my clients. And so I haven't been able to be there beyond being a good buddy and, and interacting with my fellow coaches. I think that's how

Stephanie: 7:36

Melinda first discovered Bula too, is Yeah. Listening to the guys talk at that convention. So on the topic of your coaching practice, can you tell us about how the focus on wellness, essential oils and quality nutrition all fit in with your coaching and what other services you provide?

Dar: 7:55

Yeah, so, I ended up kind of putting a, a label over it called Grace Filled Lives. And the reason I did that is because I do believe, and I believe this, you know, even back, like when I was talking about Mary Lou, we, you know, we were eating naturally. We were making sure we were eating things that the earth grew, you know, we were, we were doing things that were already provided for us and I've never changed that or wavered from that. And so I believe we are graced and gifted with all the things we need to be. Successful, productive, healthy individuals, what we need is here on this planet or within us. And so, you know, when I look at the whole, overall picture, we need to utilize those gifts and also find the gifts in ourselves. And sometimes that's where, you know, the coaching and the Oola comes in because people have to find that purpose or rebalance and, you know, but being able to use the tools that we've been gifted and graced, is really where I saw it all coming together

Melinda: 8:48

that's Sounds so nice. That's like saying something from the, that's

Dar: 8:52

great.

Stephanie: 8:55

I share the similar values in that too. So I guess we're getting into the topic of fear now. It's super heavy. Um, so we know fear can get in the way of getting the life you want, and this can happen in two ways. The first is unrealistic. Fear can paralyze you and prevent you from taking actions that will move you forward. And the second way is a complete disregard of fear can expose you to risks that can take you down. Can you give us a personal example of one or even both

Dar: 9:26

of them? So I think for me, probably the fear and why I work with the midlife crowd is this fear. Um, and the guys are so good at this too in Ola, the fear that I've gotten to midlife and I haven't done half of what I wanted to do or that I maybe missed out on. And on the fun, um, you know, My, dad and my grandmother both died in the early sixties, and I'm much like them. And so, you know, when I'm now in my fifties, I'm thinking, gosh, if that's the case, then I'm, you start to get this overwhelming fear. Not necessarily unrealistic fear because I think it's, uh, something we all have to deal with is that there is not finite days for us on this earth. Um, that. We all will eventually, you know, end, end our time here. But I let it really kind of freeze me up, you know, worrying about, when I was gonna die and was I gonna die before I had the chance to retire and do all these other things I wanted to do before others were ready for me to go. Um, because that's what I had experienced and I, so I think that's where I've really kind of dug in with the midlife crowd, because Maybe they've directed their life where they needed to at the time. They focused their energies on building their family, helping their kids fly. Now there were empty nesters and they're looking at a job that they went to because it paid their bills and had the benefits to get the kids to college. But they've hated it all along. And now they're thinking, gosh, I'm gonna retire in 10 years. I can't. I might as well just stay, you know? And so we resign ourselves. And so I think for me, I was in that sort of spot of like a fear of is this all there is? And um, you know, and then that's part of what also resonated me with the Ola guys because they're very known for saying it's only halftime, you know? And, and sharing about the whole concept of something as simple as, you know, moving your marbles from jar to jar. Re reminding us not to fear. That just because our path for the first 50 years was one thing that we can't have something totally different if we want it in the second half. And not to fear what might be coming ahead to, to make sure we're living our fullest, that we're living our purpose, even if we're still just finding that purpose at midlife. And so really kind of, um, you know, working past that myself and now helping many of my clients work past it too. That is a.

Stephanie: 11:40

A great way to look at life. Hey Melinda, do you have an example of how a complete disregard of fear can bring you down?

Dar: 11:50

I

Melinda: 11:50

actually do, this one kind of humbles me a little bit too to say it. So I think I started, I graduated from massage. I got my license like eight years ago, and, I was in this transitional phase in my life, and so I thought, I'm gonna go all in and I'll start the practice myself. And I really should have thought things through, like put myself in a safer environment. And I should have realized my space would sit vacant all day while I was at my day job. So that might look odd to people or. Maybe not spent this much money on startup right away. You know, I really should have, even though I had a business plan, it wasn't a well thought out one at the time'cause I just was so eager to start something new. And so it ended up not growing as fast as it should have to keep that space going for the cost. And so I ended up giving up that space and moving to somewhere where I felt much safer, where it was more cost effective and. It was actually a much better fit. So in the long run it worked out, but initially when I had to close it up, it kind of really was disappointing and I wished I would've taken more time to consider things from the get go. But it was fun

Dar: 13:03

and I learned a lot. But that was

Melinda: 13:06

definitely example of you can jump

Dar: 13:07

too fast and yeah, always

Stephanie: 13:11

learning.

Melinda: 13:14

going into the second half of 2023, what is D'S next chapter in Oola? And if you don't mind, share your number one for the year with

Dar: 13:22

us. Yeah, so my number one for the year was around, fitness and, and an area where, again, I focused too much on everyone else and not myself and at midlife, found myself looking like. The stereotypical midlife woman. And so really focusing in on, on that. And so I've had some specific action items for the year, getting back into a routine of, of physical activity and, some other things. And so I, happily cheered when I hit my 100th. Session at the local, Pilates studio this year, and I'm continuing to go three to five times a week. And that has, been transformational for me in a number of ways too, because it's setting aside time for myself and, a little time to get my brain, you know. Focused on just one thing at a time, which I think we all struggle with. and really, uh, you know, focusing in sort of each month with some specific action plans. So, for example, this month I've, I've conned some of my colleagues and some of my employees into joining me for reduced sugar month. So for the, this particular month, we are all, trying to stick to a. Reasonable number of sugar grams and it's got us all double checking our labels and being astounded. so, you know, I'm real excited. Uh, the second half is still going strong and the action steps, you know, and keeping it interesting, like having some, some new actions to add to it each month. So I'm continuing to add habits instead of trying to do all the habits all at once in January. Right. So, kind of made that all of one goal. it's not like I hadn't made that in the past, but this time I really finally committed and, doing those action steps and keeping it, keeping it interesting with something new each month and small increments that, that I'm able to do. That's great.

Melinda: 15:02

let's talk about the analysis paralysis for a minute. And this is where all you can focus on is what can go wrong if you choose to act. So what advice do you have for someone who might be suffering with the analysis

Dar: 15:15

paralysis? Yeah, so I, I actually have an example here and, and we'll just leave it at a family member, but. Is always very quick to say no. And I know that it's because the what ifs are playing in her mind, you know? And so, um, being kind of stuck in the, well, what if I, I have something else I need to do that day. And so, you know, I end up seeing, seeing her miss out on opportunities because she tells people no out of, out of those fears. And then worrying about, well, what if this or what if I have to drive myself or all these? And, and it's can be little things, but you know, it's mounted up to the point where, you know, I think people stopped even inviting her to things. And so, you know, and for me, even just as I was talking about my fitness goals, you know, the, the analysis paralysis quick to, to play the. But if I, if I go to work out every day, that's a half an hour that I don't come home and get back on email to keep working, you know? And then I'm gonna get behind. And then if I get behind and this is gonna happen and that, you know, and you quickly go down these spirals and these rabbit holes, and I think you can talk yourself out of, just about anything and stay marred in the fear because, It's comfortable, maybe, not necessarily that it feels good, but that taking, you know, some of those next steps you need to, it's easier to say no, or easier to avoid it or just keep analyzing it and not making a plan. And so what advice

Melinda: 16:39

do you have for her to work through

Dar: 16:40

that? Yeah, so, you know, I, I think one of the big pieces is, um, you know, Picking something, you know, like, okay, say no to most things, but, but pick one thing, but more so instead of waiting to, to be the one. And so in her, in the case for her, I said, you initiate, you pick something you're comfortable doing and invite them, you know, um, pick something that you're comfortable going to or driving to at a time you're, you're comfortable with. And so sometimes it's reversing it, it a little bit and putting it back where they feel more in control. I think that that's a piece of it. You know, your, your fear can be compounded when you don't feel like you have control of that situation. And so if you're flipping it and, and my simple sit, my simple example here of saying, Hey, instead of being afraid to say yes to going out to dinner, um, you know, on the other side of town, maybe you invite folks to lunch on a Friday afternoon when you feel more comfortable not driving at night or those kind of things. And so putting it back into your control.

Melinda: 17:41

Just the

Stephanie: 17:41

little shifts in the mindset and just little action steps can just like lead to major breakthroughs. Yeah. Let's talk about the two fears. We are all born with the fear of following and loud noises. What is your perspective on those innate fears of an infant in comparison to the fears we have as adults?

Dar: 18:01

And, and I, and I love that this is something all of us Oola coaches regularly talk about, because it does remind us, you know, that most of the, the fears that we have, again, we were not graced to have them. You know, we were, graced and lucky enough to only have those two original fears. Um, and then the rest happen when I'm training and teaching others, I, I use the example of a rollercoaster, you know, You either love or hate a rollercoaster, but it's about the way you were taught about it. You know, maybe you had parents that loved it and when you went to the amusement park, it's the first ride they rag you to, but maybe you also had parents that had. Didn't like it or you had a bad experience on it, you know, got sick or got stuck and so you never go on them. I'm one of those people in the middle. I let my husband convince me, I go once I try it, and then don't ask me to get on it again again. But you know, I think you end up with this learned fear and you know, like the roller coaster it might be then how it shapes your opinion of a rollercoaster forever. And so, As we grow from that simple, joyous little child that was only afraid of, falling or loud noises, to a world that's full of things to be afraid of, you know, I think it's really critical. that we make sure they get exposed to things and let them form their own opinions and, and kind of go from there on that.

Melinda: 19:23

We are

Stephanie: 19:23

asking all the coaches on our show some questions from the Prost questionnaire, which became popular. From a parlor game created by Marcel Proust, a French essayist, a novelist who believed that in answering these questions, an individual reveals his or her true nature. There are actually 35 questions, but we're gonna only ask you five today. The first one is, tell us something in your life that has grown out of a personal disaster

Dar: 19:50

or challenge. Yeah, so this one of all his questions I probably think is the hardest'cause it can hit raw nerves, but you know, I think. it's served me, in bringing my family closer together, but also in coaching a number of my clients who'd been through similar, four years ago, actually just this week, um, my nephew was in a, a drowning accident. We lost him. And you know, when you have a experience like that in your life and you're trying to help your whole family through it, you know, I think. You really learn a lot about yourself and those around you and how resilient you actually are. And so this kind of goes to the fear topic as well to me because it also shows you that some of the things we fear do happen to us, but we can still move forward. We can still live and. In my case, my nephew would not want us to just curl up. He was all about adventure. And so, you know, growing for ourselves in that way of, of doing new things. And so I had always promised him I would go, to, I fly and do the indoor, um, skydiving. He and I hadn't gotten to go, but I got over my fear and I went and did it in his honor, in his memory when he would've turned 18, this past year. So, you know, I think for me, you know, I. That was a big turning point just four years ago, for me and something I continued to grow from. Sorry to be heavy. No, it's

Stephanie: 21:17

fine. That's just, that's

Dar: 21:20

terrible. Sorry to hear. Yeah,

Melinda: 21:22

sorry to hear about that too. But, do you think that that is something where now you would project that fear onto other nieces and nephews, that you'll be more afraid and need more

Dar: 21:34

on an alert?

Melinda: 21:35

I think I sometimes project my fears onto my children.

Dar: 21:39

Yeah, yeah. Well, so, you know, he has a younger sister and I would say all of us have become extra protective. And, she'll even tell us, you know, she's like, he's hugging me way too hard, aunt Dar, because, you know, it's like we're all like, you know, and, she can feel that sometimes. So I do think it's really, That's something we all have to stay aware of for sure is Yeah. Not, you know, and not getting an adverse, feeling about swimming pools for, for our case. Sure.

Melinda: 22:08

When and where were you happiest you've ever

Dar: 22:11

been? Yes. So switching it to something happy is a good thing. Thank you. Yeah. so I would say, we went to Oahu and renewed our vows. Just a simple little thing on the, on the beach there, and it was lovely and meaningful. And, you know, not to prolong the answer to this question, but. Also points back to, um, pushing past a fear. So, my husband and I are from different races, different cultures, and back when we met, you know, 30 years ago, it wasn't quite as accepted as you would see it accepted today and we had our own family hurdles to, leap and things. And we both worked past fear because we knew that if we continued our relationship. There were family members who basically said they would disown us, walk away from us. And so then you're deciding about this relationship, you know, and a fear of do I put all my eggs in the basket of this one person that might be my soulmate, or do I. Stick with the family and their perceptions, stereotypes, things, and, and give up on somebody that I'm might, might be my long-term love. And so, that's what makes it the happiest here. We're celebrating our 25th anniversary on that beach. My um, Best friend who was my maid of honor was there with her husband and another family member. And, we could also celebrate that all the families came together. And quite honestly, my husband's probably one of the family favorites now. Um, but you know, but again, it came back to we could have succumbed that fear and in fact it probably took him twice as long to ask me to marry him because of his own fear of that. But, you know, it was a ha it's a happy moment that we can celebrate that. The world is slowly, uh, changing in that area and that our family finally stepped out of their own fears from stereotypes and things they had learned to actually meet and get to know him and realize that, you know, I brought home the right person for me. You love that. That's beautiful.

Melinda: 24:02

What relationship defines love for you,

Dar: 24:05

you know, that certainly does, and it, and, and the fact that love can conquer things, you know, that certainly for me does do that. but I think the thing that epitomizes that for me are friends and family. Um, you know, folks that I know who have. A person in their life that they're responsible for caring for maybe a disabled child or a, an elderly parent. Someone that they've had to commit, you know, and really commit a lot of their life to caring for, and just the, the pure love because, you know, so many people would walk from that or, you know, Higher in help and things, but just the pure love you see in some of those parents or the children helping parents, but, but mostly that parent that's working with a child of special needs, disabled, you know? Um, and the love they pour into that child. And then the amazing love, even if that child is nonverbal or unable to do things for themselves, the love that you see on their face back for that family member, that caregiver that they know and rely and trust on. For me, when I see those interactions, even though I know how hard they work to make all that work out and, and get through a day, I just see love. I see pure love. That's a

Melinda: 25:21

great example. What person,

Stephanie: 25:25

place, or experience has shaped you the

Melinda: 25:26

most?

Dar: 25:28

Probably the experience I already talked about with my nephew. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. As far as more recent shaping, you know, yeah, that was a,

Stephanie: 25:35

that's a big one. So then the last question, what advice would you give to your younger self?

Dar: 25:42

Have the fun now. You know, I, and, and it goes, it goes to our fear topic for today because, you know, I was a rule follower. I still am, you know, if the science says, don't park here, I don't park here. You know, if, if my parents said, don't, you know, don't date this person. I didn't for a long time. You know, if, if the, You know, the rules apply, then I won't break them. And I'm not saying I'd go break the law or do anything like that, but I think there was a lot of little things I could had way more fun on if I just let my hair down and been like, it's okay. You can, you can go to this party or you can stay, you know, here and hang with these folks. That seem really fun. You know, I think, I would've had way more fun.'cause then life gets too busy to have the fun sometimes. And so, That's a whole nother topic in Oola. Right.

Melinda: 26:32

Okay. Let's, so let's switch to Oola a little bit and coaching. Why don't you give us one of your best coaching tips for our listeners?

Dar: 26:40

Yep. So since I do work a lot with midlife folks, and even a lot of folks in my day job that are changing career or changing, aiming for retirement, is that it's okay to hit the reset button, and it's okay to hit it more than once. I use the term reset button frequently in my coaching. I sort of, you know, if you could reset, take something back or change something, what would it be? And let's, let's push the button and do it. And so, it's not really a specific tip as much as a safe zone and a safe word to say. Let's just hit that reset button. It's okay.

Melinda: 27:14

Do you have a quote or a motto you value and would share

Dar: 27:17

with us? one that I like, and probably because of my HR world, um, is be kinder, the necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle. I do see people, in my office during some of their worst moments in life, or their worst decisions in life and, Usually behind the scenes there's something else going on that no one else knew about. So I think everybody in this world could just you do something if we were all kinder to each other. And my other one, is life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about dancing in the rain. And so this goes, you know, to the fear thing, you know, being afraid to go out in the storm. My awesome nephew wanted to be a storm chaser. He thought tornadoes were cool. He would sit in the garage with the door up and watch the thunder and lightning. it's got even more meaning for me now, but it's a quote that I was already interested in. Goes to having more fun now, you know, don't wait. Don't wait for the rain to stop, go, go dance in it. You just get wet. It's okay.

Stephanie: 28:14

I love that quote. Okay, so we are also asking all the coaches on our show if they have taken an Enneagram test and for anyone out there unfamiliar, the Enneagram is a system of personality typing that describes patterns and how people interpret the world and manage their emotions. So you have taken the Enneagram test. Did you just take it for the first time for our show or have you taken it before? I

Dar: 28:36

did take it for the first time for the show. I've taken so many other different, you know, personality, strengths, things, all of that, but I hadn't taken this specifically. So. Cool. What was your result? So I was a type three, which, is an achiever, I believe.

Melinda: 28:52

Yeah. Do you want me to

Stephanie: 28:54

share a little bit more about what that means?

Dar: 28:56

yes. Okay.

Stephanie: 28:59

Sometimes people wanna talk about it themselves, but I have it here. So threes are the achiever and they are ambitious and have the will and energy to strive to be the best at whatever they take on. They believe in their ability to succeed. Threes are resourceful and efficient and productive. And along with being willing to adapt to achieve their goals, threes are able to adjust to different situations, peoples or environments skillfully. The threes high energy and enthusiasm for projects gets things done and pushes others to perform as well, and setting goals and applying themselves to achieve. These are as natural to threes as breathing. They are focused on the end result. So we've had a couple other threes on our show earlier on. Um, so this is a, we always try to dig up a little bit more information about threes so we're not repeating ourself or for the number. Mm-hmm. So what do you think about that

Dar: 29:52

result? I think it speaks pretty well to me. Um, you know, I read a little bit of some other things too, and I was like, oh, I don't know. Maybe I don't feel like I am, I'm pushing for glory or anything, but I am a, you know, but I am ambitious and definitely efficient and goal-driven. There's no way I could juggle what I do during the day without really having a can-do attitude. And, you know, I have been referred to as the Kumbaya HR lady here, so I guess I, I try to do a positive attitude and keep people at good.

Stephanie: 30:22

Yeah, it's a good skill to have when you're definitely multitasking and coaching and

Melinda: 30:29

yeah. Do you have any. Advice, advice for our listeners who may need to refocus if they are stuck on fear or any of the blockers really who are blockers. This is the first time we've discussed blockers on the podcast, so, the blockers are fear, guilt, anger, self-sabotage, laziness, and we, and focus more so lack of focus. Do you have any advice for anybody who might be stuck on the

Dar: 30:54

blockers? Yeah, so stuck on any blocker, but particularly fear and, and thinking about about that. I think the best visual for people is, to not hesitate to get a buddy. And, maybe that's a coach. Maybe it's a friend, maybe it's a family member, but a buddy. And, and the visual that I, I think of when I say that is, you know, folks that are afraid of escalators. Sometimes all it takes is somebody walking up alongside of them and taking their hand and helping them take that first step onto that first moving step. You know? And so, you know, Getting past the blockers. It is picking something small and taking that first step. And if you have a buddy that can stand alongside of you while you take that first step, it might not be as scary. Um, but don't try to achieve it all at once. You know, pick one thing. Like I was saying with my fitness goal. I've worked on this fitness goal for years, but one of the things that's worked for me is say, picking one thing each month that I'm gonna do or add. And so taking that first step, and if you can find a buddy to hold your hand when you do. I think that helps. I could use a quit sugar buddy. That's for sure. Is there

Melinda: 32:05

anything else you would like to add before we close this out?

Dar: 32:08

Um, no, this has been lovely. I, I have to admit when I, I saw it, my, my podcast turn was gonna be right out into the blockers. I was like, oh man. But, you know, I think, I think people do, you know, need the time to reflect and, and one of the things that. Our OLA framework does that coaches can help people do, is reflecting on those things and figuring out what, what is getting in your way and helping you chip that down one step at a time. And so I would just encourage people to not be afraid of, doing that reflection and then figuring out what one thing could move them forward and taking one step.

Melinda: 32:48

I think this was definitely some important information to share on fear. We learned it can keep you from acting and growing and then there is complete opposite

Dar: 32:58

being

Melinda: 32:59

disregard for fear when you go all in without calculating the risk. Now I believe at the end of the day what we are trying to do is find the sweet spot

Dar: 33:08

in the middle. After all, fear can be quite

Melinda: 33:11

the motivator. Just makes me wanna say run forest run.

Dar: 33:17

Before we part

Melinda: 33:18

ways, we wanna let our listeners know that our next episode will showcase coach Debbie Longoria and the topic of the

Dar: 33:25

blocker guilt.

Melinda: 33:26

And I'd like to remind you we are all designed by God for greatness and with purpose. We wanna truly thank DI for taking her time to share about herself and Oola and the blocker fear. It has been a real pleasure. Until next time, Stressless. Feel better. Enjoy life a little more

Dar: 33:43

and fear a little less. Until next time.

Melinda: 33:46

Bye now. Bye.